Controlled aggression may be needed in combat, but if rage festers it can affect your thinking and behaviour, harm relationships and negatively impact the body too.
As Paul Minter (ex-RHG/D), co-founder of military mental health charity Head Up (head-up.org.uk) points out, frequent outbursts can be a sign that someone is depressed or suffering other emotional issues, while long-term stress can damage the immune system.
Feeling angry too often can also become a habit. These are his tips for keeping your temper in check…
Think before you speak.
In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say something you’ll regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything.
Express anger when you are calm.
Once you’re thinking clearly, try to explain your frustration in a non-confrontational way. State your concerns and needs without hurting others or trying to control them.
Do some phys.
Exercise can help reduce stress. Try going for a brisk walk or run.
Take a timeout.
Give yourself short breaks during parts of the day that tend to be more stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what’s ahead.
Look for possible solutions.
Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue.
Use ‘I’ statements.
Avoid placing blame and be respectful and specific. For example, say, “I’m upset with the cleanliness” instead of “you haven’t done any cleaning”.
Don’t hold grudges.
If you allow anger to crowd out positive feelings, you can get swallowed up by your own bitterness. But if you can forgive someone who upset you, you might both learn something and strengthen your relationship.
Use humour to diffuse tension.
Lightening up can help you face things and overcome any unrealistic expectations you had.
Relax.
Use deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, repeat a calming phrase, listen to music or do a few yoga poses — whatever it takes to chill out.
Know when to get help.
Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Ask for support if yours seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you.
